My mom came to see me tonight while I was watching television (an old movie from when i was young...i was actually relaxed and laughing...she must have psychic powers for when i feel good because she has often came in these moments to screw that up) and told me angrily to get a piece of paper because she did not have her glasses on. She said that they would go but only September 30 to October 4, she used her friend having lots of visitors and only these days for my parents so that was either mom making sure that my break would not be as long as I wanted to (that way i dont win fully...that makes her feel better) or by some type of awful luck for the next years it's really only on these dates that her visitor bedroom will be free.

I made sure to tell them that I would only pay if they go at least one full week so these so-called parents will find that gas money themselves. Tomorrow I have to go to Matane (not the first time) and sometimes it's to Rimouski they or we have to go and both ways that's four hour drive and they always find that gas money, the extra 200$ and something that they now have since I started paying the satellite bill again will make for the rest they need.

It's not a lot but it will do!

After that little break I will be able to focus on what I need to do to change my life and get as far as I can from both of them. I think I will even be able to start on that before they leave for that little vacation. I have an hair makeover Tuesday and just that will give me energy I'm sure, add that my little break from them and I think I'm going to be okay.

I'm even starting to be physically sick with all that stress. In addition of my throat issues not going away (at least with that im forcing myself to eat despite thinking im chocking) I am having heart palpitations and pains (it moves...sometimes its the head then the neck then the shoulders then the back then the tummy then the always appears when im very stressed out and it never is for long).

First I was thinking of giving them my internet information if they would need to contact me (they are not good on the mom tries but im always near and my dad does not care at all) but now I'm seriously thinking of not doing that. I'll see how they will act while I'm making my changes and decisions and how they will act when I will tell them that I'm moving out, if they for once act as normal and mature human beings I may at least give them that.