Tomorrow is the day I give my parents the ultimatum.
No excuses and no more delay, I don't care if there's a voice inside me that tells me to wait because that voice won't be listened to even if it's a real warning.
I cannot take it anymore.
Every day now there is a new drama and that in addition of them doing their best to slowly kill me mentally.
My dad for a second straight day has spent many hours in a wood lot cutting big logs of wood with a manual saw and then putting it in the back of our truck and these two days it has been sunny and hot. Apparently he thinks that he can do that with all our fire wood (we have enough for more than 1 year and all of it are big logs....even if he can cut it all before snow arrives in pieces short enough to fit our fire stove it will take him close to 100 trips from there to here for all of it). No life insurance, no will and everything is in his name. I did mentioned our nice neighbor that would love to help him but no the way he does it is the way to go if you listen to my parents. At least I know I have an exit if something happens to him with the short amount of money I have aside.
So tomorrow it is the moment of truth! I will come back here when it will be done to say how it went. I will have to wait until my dad is back home and has eaten, the past two days he has left at about 8:00 (yesterday i was sleeping so i dont really know but today i was awake in bed and it was 8:05 when he left) and he has come back both days after 15:00. I want them both in the room so they can both hear me, I do not trust any of them to really tell the other what I said, until this Spring I actually thought my mom had not told my dad about my vacation money gift to them, only when I heard him complain about one of the excuses given to me in a letter that I knew he knew (well probably not like i offered...i wont be shocked to learn my mom put a negative spin on it). I am nervous about it (just telling them hi when they look happy has always been nerve wrecking) but I am excited about it too, finally one way or another it will soon be over: They accept and I have a break to renew myself at least a full day alone or I start the motions to move out (either way thats what ill do but at least with a break i know i would be 100% in shape both mentally and pysically)!
It is weird but I have like that same feeling as the last time I came here and said that I would do it but this time the voices are not telling me to wait, underneath the fear I have a good feeling. We'll see tomorrow .
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