Okay so I really thought about it plus counted my money and calculated everything and I will make that offer to my parents. The way I see things that's the only way that I can remain living here with them while making my big decisions and not only having enough money to move out but also be in a good place while doing this.
The stress of it all is affecting me more and more. I'm now at a point where if I don't get a break or get out of this I will either go crazy or have to take medication.
And they are getting so much on my nerves that I just cannot relax and do anything. When I am in a good mood or am about to make a decision they do or say something that either gets me mad, puts me down or stresses me too much. I just cannot do anything. Choice wise deciding on a shampoo is hard for me so how can I make a bid decision that will affect the rest of my life?
If they do not accept this then I am getting out of here. If it comes to this and want to eat while waiting to find a job it will mean no television and no internet which also means no Dallas Stars, to me it is awful since watching them is one of the rare things that gives me happiness but going crazy or having to take medication to keep me from going crazy is where I'm at so I would take that. Missing Michael Schumacher drive would of been the death of me, he is retired so this at least is not something that I have to worry about.
When I will be able to get them together without any drama (not only is our home a huge drama the rest of the town is....from my grandmom to the rest of the family to the people here...its insane).
Today my mom bumped her head on a door in a basement. It made a hole and it was bleeding but she closed it with some stitches we had in the downstair's bathroom. She is going blind because she has had the same glasses for like ten years (had a few years before my dad decided to drop his job to change them so her excuse of being poor is an excuse just like everything else). My dad when he came back from seeing one of his brothers who has to stay in one of his son's cabin (1 of the drama going on here) did not even say a thing about the hole in her forehead and the two white stiches on each sides. My mom has started talking about faxing an eye surgeon for an appointment (thats the only way people can get an appointment to an eye surgeon here) so that means in maybe one year she'll do it so then you add some months until she gets to see that eye surgeon then having to hear her say that she cannot get glasses because of the lack of money. It has always been this way and never will change.
Thankfully I never had any kids so I did not put any innocent child throught what my parents did to me!
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