I blame myself for being in this situation.

Yes what they did to me when I was a child is not my fault but after this it is.

My brother did not let them manipulate him. He had a social life, he finished school, he was able to find jobs, he had a girlfriend and when he became sick he still did what he wanted until he entered the hospital for the last time.

When my dad came back home saying he had left his job (me and mom were working for him too...thats a long story...cant remember if i talked about that here or not) I had close to 20,000$ but I decided to move here then stupidly until the last 1,000$ thought they could give me back my money everytime they were asking for some as a loan and then I just entered a lazy pattern.

Now I have no job, no savings, a small check every month and I have let them kill my brain.

When I realised that my sould was also dying I finally decided to do something. It is hard because the hole I dig for myself is very deep but I am trying. I am bringing my body back with vitamins and calciums (its actually working..every day i have more energy...i was on the ground...i barely could move i was so low on energy) and with some energy I will be able to do something.

I still thinking giving my parents an ultimatum is the best for now. I am thinking about my situation every day while I am getting my energy back.