It has been a rollercoaster these past few days. I am trying to put into paper my thoughts and ideas of the past months and I am also planning some things which involve some change. I did made some changes at the end of last month, they were small but still changes.

My mom did not speak to me for a few days because I dared told her the truth and my opinion and it was done in front of someone else. The day of my small changes she was still acting like that. She now has stopped but she can see that I am not totally the same and since she is not stupid she knows it's her fault, she will never apologize though.

My dad was calm for a few days but today he is driving me crazy. He has started whistling and singing like a psychopath.

I did see a cute puppy in a parking lot today and he/she came up to me, that calmed me down greatly.

My throat stress issues (thinking im chocking) are not gone yet, they were close to gone but it has come back since my stress has been up and down. I still have half of one of my mom's ativan (in 1..i have been prescribed 10 in 0.5...took the first half the day i went to the hospital to get some tests done after taking antibiotics for nothing for a badly and not needed filling) and I think I will take it before going to bed soon if this does not stop. I won't take it tonight since I have to get up at 6:00 tomorrow to help a neighbor (shes the only sane person here + she has a Golden Retriever and i may go walk with him) and besides I only want to take it if I see a panic attack coming or something like that.