I used to fear spiders, and it meant I had stress every time I saw one. I realized that was something I could work on. Over time I trained myself to love spiders. I do now love spiders. I am joyful when I see one.
The mind can be trained. You can change daily occurrences in your life to bring you joy, rather than stress. That can help make your entire life more peaceful.
One tiny step at a time.
Again it sounds to me that your father enjoyed being the center of attention and dragged out the process so he was getting the spotlight. He thrived in that role. So one solution is to not give him that spotlight. If you truly need help with a spider, go to your mother. Pretend your father isn't even there. It sounds like his presence didn't help the situation any, so just don't even go to him.
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