Thank you for everything, I really mean it. I also mean it when I say that if it weren't for the people that I have met on the internet I would have spent my life without anyone caring about me or at least trying to help. To read posts like yours makes me smile and gives me strenght.

I think that as long as I live in the same house as my parents I have no other choice of giving them a chance. They sure were there as far as giving me a roof and other important material things, if it weren't for that I would of left a long time ago (or would of been thrown out) and never looked back. That is why I always have remorse whenever I either stand up to them or ignore them or look for an appartment that I could afford. It does not erase all the things they have done though and no matter what happens I know that if I ever have children I will cut them off completely, I will not give them a chance to do what they did to me to my own kids, no way. I am alone now so it is my choice, kids no not get that choice (i know i didnt).

They (even my dad...its rare but he can show it) show they have a heart sometimes which in my mind it makes it worst, if they would be completely without compassion it would not hurt so much.

As for my mom she decided to change her behavior with me just because I dared remained her that she had options to get medical help and I told her that it was impossible for me to ignore her dying (she told me that she never asked anything and that i just should ignore whats happening to her), who gets mad because of something like that? She completely ignored me for a few days after that! Since then she has these times when she is like before then she snaps back to when she was mad at me for these stupid reasons. Tuesday she finally met with a real doctor that told her that she will help her but before that she wants my mom to get two tests done (blood work [appointment made today for june 11] and something else [they will call her]) but she eats like ten bites a day and it has been like that for months and her next appointment could be in August, who can spend more than a year without eating and being in pain all the time and keep on going on with life like everything is normal (she does not stop working around the house...she gets mad when i do something that is not my rooms or the dishes) and not kill over? That's crazy but apparently I should just ignore it like my dad does and not care at all!