Amie,

I have never in my life heard the words I love you or anything else positive like that. I also have never received hugs except for the last hairdresser I had when we lived in Saint-Hubert, she would always hug every of her customers so that kind of hug I know. Also except for people I have never met on the internet I have never heard anyone asked me what is wrong. Many years ago I spent almost two years in the house without going outside even in our yard and all I did that time was sleep, cry and watch television and then too they never asked me what was wrong. For some reason after November 9 2009 they decided to let go of the rare positive they had and become full blown monsters. I will never understand how can anyone hate their own children. The only way I can see that happening is if their kids turn into criminals or heartless people which is not the case with me. They lost their son to an illness and then we three could of died in a fire and neither of those two things woke them up which means that they are truly cruel and love it. I have never received love and affection and care but yet I am not like them just like I am not cruel to people who do not deserve it so them having an awful childhood (which is the case) is not an excuse; many people who have been abused by their parents have never done that to anyone else and they also have kids and never abused them. I am trying my best to build me up again so that I am at my best when I finally leave these monsters behind plus I need to be careful with the savings I have so that I do not end up in an apartment I cannot afford when these savings are gone (hopefully i will be able to find a job fast so that the rest or most would be put aside for my old age).

Mom left me a note on the table saying that dad will be back tonight, it is either true (which is their way to make up for the 3 complete days without them i had) or them trying to ruin my day by making me believe this but it not being true (i was enraged when i saw that note but then calmed down because i do not want to give them more power than they already have on me).