I cannot enjoy anything as long as my parents are right there doing things on purpose to make my life miserable. The only time I 100% know they won't do anything is when I am watching the Dallas Stars and that's because they know for this I do not let anyone bother me when I watch them, for them and Shumi I have a backbone, the other times I am too weak to have one with some exceptions like the second full day we were here (stood up to both of them and none were able to win that).

I am owed my part of the next insurance settlement so I cannot go anywhere until then.

And again I have more than thirty-eight years of them being cruel to me in many different ways, I cannot get over it overnight just like I cannot pick myself up overnight. Plus I have a depression and I was the victim of bullying.

And that November 9 2009 date that ever since then every day has been a hell and no days has been normal or at least average is still going strong, try that one of these days and see how you feel, if you can still focus on the positives if you have some and/or just move on I will applaud you and say you were right.

Yes a lot of people were tortured or went through something worst and were able to still move on and focus on the positives; I know all that and no I cannot do that, I am not like that!