This might sound radical but maybe you should consider moving closer to your family so they can help. Of course, you may lose your job if you do that so bad idea. Maybe they could visit and help or you could hire some help because your husband is no help. He is clearly damaged and you can't help him. You are not a professional and he needs counseling and probably drugs. You should see a marriage counselor. If he refuses, go alone and maybe you will find insight as to how you would up with this guy. It might not be a bad idea to consult a divorce lawyer if he refuses to see a counselor about his problems. If you are being abused, then please call the domestic violence hotline and they will help you make a plan to get out.