SWK, I also just stumbled onto this site when I googled "not enjoying being a mom." I just wanted to tell you that IVF is expensive and the outcome might not be what you want since you are not even sure if you want to have kids. We did it and now have twins. They are wonderful babies but ironically I'm googling "not enjoying being a mom." I was never sure that I wanted kids. But pressure from parents, my husband, my circle of people made me think I should have kids. And when I found out we couldn't "naturally" then it became a goal, something to achieve. I don't want to say I regret it cause it's so taboo but honestly, I hate being a mom. My life before was traveling on a whim, quiet nights at home, dinner out with friends, going to work and I loved it. Since having the twins I have not had one good night's rest. It's been 8 1/2 months. I'm slowly losing my mind. I hardly talk to anyone anymore. I play with the babies and pretend to enjoy it. When I finally have them down to sleep I go to the bathroom and cry. I can't talk to anyone that I know about it because they would think I'm crazy because I have what seems to be the perfect life. A multi million dollar home, Benzs in the garage, a caring, loving husband, twins - a boy and a girl, a nanny, housekeeper, I even have a perfect little part time job that pays well and is flexible. Honestly, I don't even know myself what's wrong with me. But I swear, as soon as I step into the house and hear the babies crying I just want to run away from all of it. I feel like I've aged 10 years. I can't go back so I grin and bear it and hope and pray that something will click someday soon when I can finally "see" or "feel" what these happy moms are talking about.
Thanks for this forum for letting me say what's been in my heart for so long!
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