I have just read most of this thread and feel wholeheartedly for all the struggling mums out there. It is so true to say that it is a taboo to say how hard it can be to cope with the constant demands of your own kids. Last year I had a very traumatic pregnancy and delivery of unplanned twins (we already have two boys and I felt the family was complete). Now as a mum of 4 I find most days a battle with myself to stay upbeat and laugh off the huge pressure I am now under. My family does not live nearby and I get no help until my hubbie returns and yes I have found it v hard to enjoy really being a mum, playing with the kids almost never happens and if i do i'm thinking what i should be getting on with. I can't help but think how much easier life could have been without them, I know things will get better but it will still be 3 years at least before I get some semblance of a life back. I don't want to resent them as I know we are lucky but every day is a real strain and the only time I feel like me is when someone takes them for an hour or two and i only have to cope with the older two.