Hi Marie :] I'm not a mother, but I feel that I grew up with 5 mothers. (Because I lived with my mom and my 4 aunts practically my whole life) But even with that experience, I too get overwhelmed when my in-laws talk about me giving them a grandchild. My mom and my aunts have always been kind to me, and i'm thankful for the way the raised me. Even with an absent father..I think i cam out pretty good. But the simple thought of being a mom, turns me off. Maybe its fear..I dont know. Did you ever experience that before you had your kids? (That the thought of having a baby was too much for you?) To be honest with you what i dislike about the idea of being a mom..is that in this world..sadly..EVERYTHING is on the mom. Even when you get married..its like you adopted a big baby boy who you're suppose PUSH HIM to be the BEST he can be. To lower this stress you have; occupy your time and you man definitely needs to give you a hand so you can have free time. Whats the point of having a husband, if he doesn't help you?? The old fashion way was the wife does everything..not in my world. I'm running my house evenly. One kids is a lot, two...i cant imagine. Just hang in there, and try to have time for yourself thats very very important. You cant carry all the weight on your own..thats not fair. Maybe you should consider moving to a more family friendly area too..so that you can go on walks and hikes and such... Good luck friend <3