That'd be a good solution, because I don't mind support her financially. Unfortunetly it won't work in our situation. Grandma is very nice and takes good care of her. However, she herself also thinks baby is more a burden rather than joy. I've felt bad by asking her for help. Nobody else in our family can adopt her.

But this week, I felt I've changed a bit. My kid has grown up to be a toddler, and she is so much fun now. I really enjoy being with her sometimes. I am not as fearful as before, I like her more and more, and she does too. So feelings definitely can change... I will keep posting updates here..hopefully one day, I'll be as proud as you are.