Things have gone from bad to worse. My husband had foot surgery this week that has rendered him totally incapacitated and bedridden. He'll be on crutches and not able to put any weight on his foot for the next six to ten weeks. I'm currently 35w4d pregnant, so he's going to be absolutely useless for labor & delivery and much of the first few newborn weeks. None of our family is planning on coming to help after the birth (they all have their own issues) and while we have some access to babysitters, we're broke and there's no way we can afford the kind of help we really need.
It's so bleak seeming to me. Everything rests on my shoulders. Not only am I chasing after three year old twins in the final weeks of my pregnancy, I must be nursemaid to my husband. All while dreading the arrival of a baby I still don't want - never wanted, in fact.
I honestly don't know how I'm going to make it through this. People seem to manage far more dire situations with far more grace than I can, but I can't imagine how to make this all better.
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