I appreciate the editor's and freelance writer's response. I'm not sure if replied they b/c my situation is serious. Well it is...I have been having a very hard time - 3 years ago, I had my own apartment, a great job and group of friends.
Since then, I've sold my apartment, lost money, lost my job and now have a baby. My relationship is hanging by a thread btw we are not married. I figured out today that I must be bipolar - manic depressive - to have put myself in such a precarious situation.
I don't know if I'm selfish but I don't want to do birthdays, kindergarten, elementary school, high school, etc.
Being the eldest I've raised my 3 siblings when we were young , taken care of my brother on my own when he was 16 and again at 20, helped my ex raise his kids, and cared for my dying mother and grandmother when their time came.
I don't have it in me to raise a child. I don't want to spend the rest of my life, money, time, energy caring for another person. My partner did not want a child and she was not planned.
I've never disliked anything in my whole life except this and I can't get out. I am essentially stuck. Everyday I wish it would just end.
At least the father has agreed to come to counseling with me. We'll see how that goes.
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