If you are constantly focusing on how much you don't like being a mom, you will never like being a mom, and she will always be tense around you because she will sense that.

Retrain your thinking now. You may never love it, but you don't have to hate it. Nothing is easy in life, but don't let your daughter ruin everything you have, that's your choice to make. Choose to smile at her instead of frown, eventually you will train yourself to smile without thinking. As she gets older and a bit more independant, she will be less of a drag. Don't stop traveling because you have a child - children are meant to be blended into OUR lives, not the other way around.

At work they say, smile when you speak because then you always sound happy...it is impossible to sound mean while you are smiling. Practice smiling about being a mom, it will eventually change. You don't ever have to love it, no one does 100% of the time...you just don't want to hate it. It's too late now anyway.

At risk of sounding insensitive, My personal opinion is that it is selfish to choose to have a child and then decide you don't want to be a mother. The child had no choice in the matter, but she will be a reflection of your feelings toward her.

Dez