Hi Jenny,

I just took the time to go back and look at your previous posts and it looks like you first posted about this approx 15 months ago when your daughter was 2 months old.

I was raised by a parent who didn't want me. She never wanted children but had me because it was "what you're meant to do when you're married". The marriage broke down when I was quite young and neither of them really wanted to take me, but Mum got stuck with me. I'm now 25 and still going to counselling because I always felt like I wasn't wanted and definitely wasn't loved. To make up for that i tried everything possible to make her proud of me/love me - straight A student, debator, award winning, neat, tidy, clean the house etc. I basically had no real "off" time as there was the constant thing of "not being what she wanted". In arguments she would say that she "wished she never had me" and I was the "worst thing to happen to her life". I used to wish that I was really not hers so that one day a loving family could take care of me. My grandparents were the shining lights in the situation though as they loved me to bits and I'm extremely close to them. They really took over raising me mid-way through my life. Currently I haven't talked to my mum in over 4 years and hopefully will never have to again in my life.

As young as your daughter is, children can sense what you're feeling and will have a reaction to it that will only get worse as she gets older.

Would your parents or In-laws be able to raise her for you? Is adoption completely out of the question? How is your husband coping with everything - what's his take on the situation?

As hard as giving her up may be for you, possibly it's the best thing for her. She'd be with a loving family who can enjoy her whilst you can enjoy being the person that you want to be. That's not selfish at all; keeping her because you see no other options could be though.

I hope that you can find the best solution for you, your husband and your daughter.