HI Jennyt,

I have some unique perspective to add to your story. First off I was adopted. I was lucky; my adoptive family was loving and supportive. I was a newborn though, not a 2 year old with a very strong idea of who mommy and daddy are. Adoption is traumatic. Even though I "lucked out" and ended up in a good place, I am very different from my adoptive sister and brother. I felt this my whole life growing up. I was not the same as everyone else.
I work with special needs kids, I see moms every day who would love to trade places with you. Moms who struggle to give their child language or even comfort. I am trained to look for abuse in families who have children that have extreme behaviours, and your remark about your husband not wanting to deal with "disobediance" really raised a red flag with me. A 2 year old child doesn't disobey, they are learning. They truly don't know better.
Everyone on this post has been extremely supportive of you. I feel you are very immature and selfish. My heart breaks for your daughter. You truly don't deserve her. I know people who have dogs that are more connected. Poor you; you have a healthy intelligent child.