Originally Posted By: Heather - Chinese Culture
It is hard for me to imagine anyone having kids simply because someone else says it's a good idea. To me, that shows a major lack of common sense.


It is not "someone telling you it is a good idea". It is the whole society sending you messages since as early as you can remember. "It is the best thing that can happen to a woman", "it is a bond that compares to nothing", "kids give so much", "you can only understand such a joy if you have children", "it gives life a whole new meaning", "you will change your mind", "labor pains are forgotten as soon as you see his little face"... and so on and so forth. In my entire life (I am 38) I have only met one woman who was actively against having children. Look at TV shows around us, no matter how cool, all the girls want babies, (except Samantha from Sex and the city ;-)) it is the guys who are not mature enough for that. What I mean is, if you are hearing that even from loved ones since you are a teenager, you might end up thinking that something is wrong with you. How can it be that everybody takes for granted something I don't want at all? Am I so selfish? so immature? why do women find cool being pregnant and I think it is disgusting? Am I not woman enough? So like somebody above put it, some think it is a question of sucking it up and do it. After all you cannot be the only one having children and not loving it, right?