I had my daughter very young and often felt like I was missing out on things - when I would talk to my mother about it she basically shut me down with guilt. So, I sucked it up and went forward and by the time she was 4 it got better. It is very hard - you're supposed to feel maternal but it's just not there.
I loved her, and would have protected her like a mother bear, but we didn't bond until she was 4. Now she is the light of my life, I think because I had to mature myself. I even had a second one, but was 32 and wanted her very badly. Now I have horrible guilt at the feelings I had in the beginning with my older daughter, because I felt them right away with my second.
Try as hard as you can to show her affection. Protect her with your last breath if necessary. Get a mother's helper. Just my 2 cents.
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