Yes, I feel like this Mom. I have 2 children. One is 11 months and one is almost 3. I so dislike being a Mom. It is not at all like the baby commercials that you see on tv. It drains all of my energy, time, and life. It may sound selfish but I can't stand it. My husband came from such a dysfunctional upbringing that I feel like I TRULY I spent 14 years "raising" him. Now I am thinking what is wrong with me to stay with a man who was abusive and needed so much help. Now I feel trapped with him & the kids, I want to leave them. I want to just pack my bags and leave. You know I have to beg for time to take a shower, to comb my hair or to have a moment to breathe. My husband belittles me and let's me know how awful I am. I had/have postpartum depression and I have only seen the doctor at my 6 week check-up. She prescribed Zoloft and I have been taking it every since with no guidance. I have to beg him to attend doctor's appointments. I am still very depressed and angry. I wonder whose life I am really living here. I think about death, hurting my kids, and myself often. There is no one to help me. I am alone and will continue to be alone except for paid professionals that I have no time to see. I have to beg my husband for help only to get dirty looks from him because he has to watch the children. Everyday I just look forward to going to sleep and dread waking up. It is an awful helpless feeling. To make things worst, I feel guilty about my thoughts because I have the sweetest children. I believe that 90% of my problems stem from my husband and his abusive nature. I am so tired from all of his bashing that I just have nothing to give to my kids. He sucks the life out of me and makes me feel like I am so low. So I am stuck......for 18 years with my children. I have no one to help. Family and Friends live away... It is just him & I. Not a pretty sight.
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