Originally Posted By: HowDoEyeHelp
I think my wife is losing her mind, and I don't know what to do. She is a stay at home, mother of 3. They are 6, 3 and 1. I work longer hours, but go in very early so that I can be home by 5:30 pm. She says that she just hates being a Mom, hates having someone hanging on her all the time, hates cleaning up after them, and I'll admit me sometimes. I try to help as much as I can around the house, I give the kids their baths each night, and put them to bed. I am not a clean person by nature or upbringing, but I've made some real strides over the last couple of years, and am trying to help. I've tried sending roses, cleaning bathrooms, encouraging her to go back to work, go back to school, but she calls me at least once a week in tears. It's upsetting because I want to help, but it's affecting my job. I don't want to be un-sensitive, but this is what pays the bills, and I can't take 3-6 calls a day to tell me what brats the kids are. It's hard for me to relate, because I love my kids, love spending time with them, and wish I could do more of it. I was hoping in a forum like this you might be able to help, or at least give me some ideas about how to make her life better.

Thanks in advance.

Oh goodness. I'm so sorry you're both stuck in this situation. I can somewhat relate to your wife. I have clinical depression and I'm currently a housewife and even without kids, the house chores and a husband can drive one mad. I can only imagine how hectic and chaotic my life would be if I had three small children on me. I don't think I would make it.

It's great that you help your wife when you can but understand something, her job is never done. She probably feels trapped and there's just no way out for her. She needs to feel free in a sense. If it's possible, perhaps she can find somewhere to go either every day or every week. Somewhere where other parents are to help ease her stress. Or give her a day out of the week to go out either on her own or with you. Or hire a babysitter if you can afford it. Any helping hand should improve the situation and ease her stress.

She desperately needs to de-stress. I'm sure you do as well, but it seems that's she's in a more desperate position right now. I just hope you can continue to be strong and supportive for as long as she needs you to be.

Understand that I'm sure your wife loves the children. She's just dealing with too much to be able to enjoy them.

Your wife could also be depressed. And that is going to take a lot of work to get over. Keep an eye out on her and her behavior since it may become destructive without you even realizing it.

I hope things are able to get better over time for the two of you. Please keep us updated.