Thanks so much for all of you here, to listen and support, I truly feel connected with you though we have not met. I can't talk to any of my friends, though I did express my feelings towards having the 2nd one. I will tell them out loud, "No, we have a lot of plans in life, but having another baby is not one of them." and they will look puzzeled. LOL!

I have to say I am a good mom, if all I need to do is to cook, care for her. I can do all those, very effiently. My house is very clean and nice most of the time. I love to cook for friends and family. But i do not like the displining a child, i don't like reading to a child and get all the same questions again and again, i don't like asking her to do the same thing 100 times and just find her ignoring me. So believe me, I always imagine I have a nanny at home who can do those, and let me have my freedom of doing my own things...