JennyT: I really feel for you. I HATED being a mom for about the first two or three years of my child's life, and everyone kept telling me there was something wrong with me because I found it all so impossibly boring. My child was extremely difficult - colicky, tantrummy, sensory issues, it felt like he screamed all the time and I never really felt like he liked me either. Also, he frequently demanded all these rigid routines -- the same story 30 times in a row, the same conversation over and over again. I wanted to rip my head off!
Finally, when my child was in first grade, a doctor suggested that he might have Asperger's syndrome, which is actually a mild form of autism. One of its characteristics is that the child is kind of emotionally unresponsive and also REALLY likes repetitive things. Asperger children can seem incredibly boring -- and if you've ever spent a lot of time isolated with only a child like that, you can feel like you're losing your mind. Our family lived far away and only saw him on birthdays and holidays (when he misbehaved) so they always said the problem was me.
Is there a possibliyt that your child may have some underlying issue that is making it difficult for you to parent her? PLEASE, I urge you, go to your pediatrician and explain the situation. Ask them to do a full work-up. Most of what we enjoy about being moms is having the child respond to us. When the child doesn't it can be a long and lonely road -- and it's not your fault. Please consider this.
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