Thanks for that nice response to my post. I felt strange just throwing it all out there like I did. for sure I thought I'd get some flack for it.

I have been to many counsellors and also took psychology in college as my major JUST to try to understand all that had happened to me. it helped me a lot. I know it had more to do with HER than with me. I was just a kid TRYING to grow up with a monster. She was so nice to everyone else but me. And when I tried to tell anyone the way she treated me when we were alone, no one would believe me. It was very frustrating since with me alone she was a diffent person. Mommy Dearest times 10 kind of a thing.

Well, it's all over now. She has passed away. She always said when she died I'd miss her but I didn't and still don't. When she died it was like I was released from a prison.