hello everyone. first, let me say i admire ya'll's honesty and your support of each other. like many of you, i found this thread after searching "hate being a mom". i was shocked at the number of hits i found from those 4 words. i am a 40-year-old SAHM to my 7-yr-old son and 2-yr-old boy/girl twins. after giving my son up for adoption 23 years ago, i vowed to never have another child. i was 16 and lucky to eat once a day. i couldn't, in good conscience, bring him into my life so i chose open adoption. he and i are friends and he harbors no resentment toward me. he knows i wanted so much more for him than i could give. after that, i couldn't seem to enjoy the company of children as i felt such remorse for being unable to care for my own child. i became pregnant again in my early 30s but suffered a miscarriage at 3 months. i then became determined to have a child after feeling so complete during that short pregnancy. i gave birth to my son in july of 02 and was totally in love w/him. i realized how much i'd missed out on by giving up his older brother. he was such a joy, and still is. although i was seriously tied down, it really didn't matter as i enjoyed my time w/him and took him everywhere i went. i became pregnant again, a HUGE surprise, when my son was almost 5. twins. imagine my shock. my son and i have such a connection, he knew i was having twins long before even i knew and he also knew they were boy/girl long before the sonogram determined their sexes. i was ambivilant t/o the pregnancy as i was happy w/my son and he was the perfect age to do things with such as go to theme parks, color, read, etc. more later - one baby is up.....