hello everyone. first, let me say i admire ya'll's honesty and your support of each other. like many of you, i found this thread after searching "hate being a mom". i was shocked at the number of hits i found from those 4 words. i am a 40-year-old SAHM to my 7-yr-old son and 2-yr-old boy/girl twins. after giving my son up for adoption 23 years ago, i vowed to never have another child. i was 16 and lucky to eat once a day. i couldn't, in good conscience, bring him into my life so i chose open adoption. he and i are friends and he harbors no resentment toward me. he knows i wanted so much more for him than i could give. after that, i couldn't seem to enjoy the company of children as i felt such remorse for being unable to care for my own child. i became pregnant again in my early 30s but suffered a miscarriage at 3 months. i then became determined to have a child after feeling so complete during that short pregnancy. i gave birth to my son in july of 02 and was totally in love w/him. i realized how much i'd missed out on by giving up his older brother. he was such a joy, and still is. although i was seriously tied down, it really didn't matter as i enjoyed my time w/him and took him everywhere i went. i became pregnant again, a HUGE surprise, when my son was almost 5. twins. imagine my shock. my son and i have such a connection, he knew i was having twins long before even i knew and he also knew they were boy/girl long before the sonogram determined their sexes. i was ambivilant t/o the pregnancy as i was happy w/my son and he was the perfect age to do things with such as go to theme parks, color, read, etc.
more later - one baby is up.....
We take forum safety very seriously here at BellaOnline. Please be sure to read through our Forum Guidelines. Let us know if you have any questions or comments!