Madness68, I'm glad you wrote in. I am not qualified to advise you, but I want to say how sorry I am that you are feeling this way and am pleading with you to please seek professional help. I have read that if one is experiencing thoughts of suicide, oneï¿½s brain chemistry is mostly likely not right, which means your brain is currently not functioning as it should. Getting help for your condition might entirely change the way you are currently feeling.
I think what people mean, and what I mean, by hang in there, is to offer some hope that things will get better. Often, what seems hopeless might not seem so hopeless in a few months more time, especially if help is received. Many mothers who were in your situation are now doing much better.
Whether you realize it or not, I'm sure you have people in your life who love and need you and would be shattered if something happened to you. Also, no child wants to lose a parent in this way, and whether or not you feel you are a good mother or feel you are even loved as a mother, Iï¿½m sure your son or daughter loves you dearly.
If not for yourself, I hope you will seek out professional help for those that love and need you, and again, Iï¿½m really sorry you are in this situation. Donï¿½t blame yourself ï¿½ itï¿½s not your fault. If you were physically ill, you would seek help in getting well ï¿½ I hope you will do the same here.
I donï¿½t know your faith, but I am praying for you... praying for you to have strength and to soon feel love and joy again. I am sure you have felt those things in the past, and I believe you can again.
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