Thank you so much for your post. I second Deborah's sentiments in that it takes so much courage to relay that kind of honesty, as most mothers never would.
My advice? I don't know about post partum or meds that can be prescribed for it, so maybe the folks advising on it are onto something. Though I prefer to avoid meds at all cost and instead like to see what I can do to do some hard soul-searching and fact-facing (the equivalent of "putting on your big girl panties") in order to think about things in a more healthy, positive light, I don't know if I would have really needed meds for post partum myself. Perhaps I would have. Can't say.
In the meantime, just remember that the grass is always greener on the other side. Accentuate the positive. Since I'm childfree, I'm tend to focus on the positive aspects of it, which I don't need to list here. But of course, I, like many CF people, sometimes let my mind wander to "the other side of the fence," and wonder what my life would have been like with a little one or two. Since you were so honest about posting some of your true (less than stellar) feelings about being a mom, I'll confess to some thoughts I have at times I wish I knew what being a mom was like (and for more of these sentiments, visit the CF forum and look up the post on "My CF Confessions").
1. I will never have the experience of preparing a life inside me, rubbing my belly, nuturing the miracle God gave me until it's ready for the world. 2. It must be wonderful to be in the delivery room with your husband, preparing to see your son or daughter for the first time, holding hands and coming together in tears when he or she arrives. 3. To hold that little hand for the first time, look in your husband's eyes and reflect, "We made that..." must be a galactically beautiful feeling unmatched by anything we could ever experience. 4. Watching them grow and experience the world under your care must be really neat, too. I love teaching and watching little ones sponge up what I show them and what they see on their own.
Don't think of yourself as a "sidelined" adult; rather, know that you have one of the most important jobs anyone could ever hold: You're greatly responsible for shaping another human's heart, mind and life experiences. What you do, say and show them will affect them for life. You're needed in ways this world will never need me. You're loved in ways I'll never know.
I know I'm needed, loved and appreciated in different ways by different people -- trust me, it's a regular mantra for me.
Embrace your babies, love them and start to nurture yourself -- take time for yourself when you can, pamper yourself, journal on your babies' progress in this world and how you've affected them. Best of luck to you, Sarah, and God bless you and your precious family.
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