I am a single mother whose children are grown. I was very young when I had my first child, my daughter. I couldn't bond with her for a while because I resented how her father had done me. But she grew on me. She's given me three granddaughters that I am very proud of. They will take care of me when I'm old. But I am most proud of her. She divorced her husband who abused the children, went to college on her own while raising teenagers, and putting an addition on her house! She's found her calling in teaching. She is my best friend.
You really don't have a choice at this point. The best you can do is keep trying. Where would we be without our Mothers?
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