Chris, maybe when you talk to the adoption agency, they can recommend a support group or counseling agency in your area. I am sure you are not the only person to ever feel this way. I realize some people will criticize you for making this decision, but I think you are being very brave. Or if your family really wants you to keep him, see if you can arrange an in-family adoption.

Momzie & jxlxkx, My son has Asperger's. He just turned 16. I've been there - heck I'm still there, just going through different trials (dating & Asperger's - ugh!)

When were 1st trying to figure out what was going on, even the Dr.s missed the dx. Although it had been around for awhile, still not many people, other than those specializing in autistic diseases seemed to know anything about it. At one point he was dx with ADHD, ODD (oppositional/defiant disorder), OCD (obsessive/compulsive) and depression - all at the same time! This was when he was 8 - I didn't understand how a little 8 yr old boy could be suffering from all of those. But it was because Asperger's seems to have a some traits of all of those disorders.

Classic earmarks: hyperfocusing - can be mistaken for attentio deficit, because it seems like the child is not paying attentio to anything, when really it is because they are so intently focused on whatever it is they are interested in, that they are inable to tear their attention away to anything else. Motor tics - humming, rocking, pacing, hair twirling, etc. especially when emotionally distraught about something (a major similarity with autism). Pedantic speech - the child tends to talk at you, almost like lecturing, rather than with you, has difficulty holding a 2-way converstaion, and has difficulty understanding that what they find fascination, not everyone else does (Michael is finding this a real hindrance in trying to ask girl's out). Often hypersensitive in hearing, touch, and sometimes smell. Have a hard time tuning out outside stimuli. Have a hard time reading facial expressions, and so will react inappropriately.

These were just some of the major things that I remembered (and still see somewhat). The good thing about Asperger's, is that typically the children are highly intelligent, and eventually can reason out how they should behave, even if it doesn;t come naturally to them.

Michelle Taylor
Marriage Editor