Heam: I can relate to every word, sentence and feeling you have. I thought I'd always have a child at some point in life and left it to 39!!! I also hate it. I avoid my daughter as much as possible - daycare, daddycare, etc. I am sorry to hear that you are a single mom. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you and of course, if you don't like it, it's that much worse. I have a nine month old and it gets easier in some ways. Unfortunately the responsibility is always going to be there. I hope you get some more help from the community, family and friends.