Thank you all so much for your support. Last year this time, we were going through the worst time in our lives because we were trying to decide whether to place her up for adoption. I agree with you all, until today, I think she is better off with other family who love her dearly. But we are from a traditional asian family, we can't do this because our family, friends, everyone will make us live like hell. To us, that's probably a harder way than raising her, because now I can post annoimously here and nobody will judge me... It is very sad. We are so lucky, my parents have been helping out a lot. She is almost 2 now. But very soon we'll be her sole guardians and will need to live with her for the next 16 years. I'm so scared, so sad. Thank you so much again, I really just wanted to talk it outloud..