I remember reading an article by a marriage counselor somewhere and it said that if one person in the marriage doesn't want a child then it's always a "no go."

The reason being that the person who wanted children and doesn't get them has the option to make other choices to fulfill themselves. They can travel, get a hobby, change jobs, do volunteer work with children, etc.

The other person in the marriage who didn't want the baby and now has one, has had all of the their options removed for travel, free time, work, etc. Their time and obligations have now been filled with something they didn't want.

It is something to think about. Adults need to speak up and be honest with each other. You're not just trying to "save a marriage." Your bringing a new human into the world. Children deserve to be brought into the world for the right reasons. Raising kids is hard enough without baggage. I know too many people who had kids to "save their marriage," and then got divorced anyway.

My advice would be to make the most of it and be the best mother you can be. I think if you start the actions your heart will follow in time. Your child deserves it. Whether this is something you wanted or not, it is a choice that you've made.

Last edited by Charity - Roses; 04/21/09 01:23 PM.
Charity Armstrong
Roses Editor