I did the same thing as Azul - googled "hate being a mom". I know it's awful, but I really hate being a mom. I, too, thought I was prepared for motherhood. I was 18, living in Germany with my husband, and it just seemed like a good idea. Well, my daughter was colicky and cried at all hours. My husband would be gone for 30 or 60 days and I'd be crying my eyes out because the baby wouldn't stop crying and I had very little support. My daughter has always been a strong-willed, difficult child. I know that part of it is my fault, but I refuse to take 100% of the blame. At one point I sent her to live with her dad. (We split when she was five.) I had recently remarried, had a 9-month-old baby and two other children in the house and my daughter would scream all night, throw things, tear everything off the shelves and walls, and she even threw a pair of scissors at my husband. I'd tried taking her to a counselor. I'd tried medicating her. I couldn't handle her. She went to live with her dad and stayed with him for four years. She did really well for about two years, but then she started acting up for her dad and stepmom. Now she's a freshman, living with me again for about a year now, and I can't stand her. I hate being a mom. I hate that I have to try to cram in a 40-hour work week, 35 minutes commute, four kids at four different schools, etc. If I'm at work I'm stressing about the kids, if I'm at home I'm stressing about the kids AND about work. And right now I have more freedom with my 6-year-old than I do with my 14-year-old. I hate that everyone thinks women are just naturally mothering - I am most definitely not. I have little patience, I suck at disciplining consistently, and I'm the kind of person who really, really needs time to myself on a regular basis. I love my kids, even when I can't stand them, but I really don't love being a parent.
Shew, that felt good. I've kept it bottled up - there's not really anyone in my life I can confess this to... People were really judgmental when I sent my daughter to live with her dad.
Anyway, it's nice to vent and also to know that I'm not the only one out there who doesn't just love being a mom above all else in life!
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. - Author Unknown
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