I'm with you. I'm 22, and have a 10 week old baby boy. I HATE being a mom. I miss my body, my life, but most of all, my ability to be selfish. I had a child because I met the love of my life at 15, and he is the best man I have ever known. He is extremely family orientated, and if I hadn't had a baby with him eventually I would've lost him. I figured that if I was going to have children, I should do it young because I didn't want to risk the complications that can arise from having a baby to late (the younger you are, the healthier the baby is and the easier it is for the mother to recover - that's how it's worked for the women in my family anyhow). I also wanted to be young enough to have things in common with my child, and to be able to be physically fit enough to keep up with him. I thought it would be an easy recovery and that by 2 months I'd be fine. But I wasn't. I hemhoragged about 10 days after having him, and I've never been normal since then. I have bladder problems, back issues, knee and other joint pain, and pelvic pain, all as a result of the pregnancy. I'm also 35 pounds heavier than I was before I got pregnant (and I wasn't exactly skinny before the baby either), and I've got a ridiculous amount of stretch marks in the most horrible places. I miss having fun. I don't fit in with anyone anymore. I don't fit in with my mom friends because I'm not really a typical "motherly" woman (I'm not very good with kids, so the last thing I want to do in my spare time is go hang out with other peoples children), and I don't fit in with my party friends because I've got a baby. I can't really drink or do anything anymore, because I have to worry about this little life that is my responsibility. I hate it. I love my son, but I HATE what my life has become. I hate being a slave to his crying. I hate the lack of control. I feel so guilty for feeling this way, and that just makes me feel worse. I can't talk to anyone because no one understands. If I could take it all back, I would, and I hate feeling like that. But by FAR, the worst thing about this is the fact that I have to lie to everyone - tell them that I'm fine and I'm so happy, because I know they'd never understand and if I told them the truth, they'd judge me and critisize me. I don't know what to do.
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