As always, I am the late one to the party - but I have been waiting four years for some kind of connection to my child or an understanding as to what part of this parenting thing I am supposed to be enjoying. It is strangely reassuring to find another individual who didn't get all warm and fuzzy the moment their child was born.

Before child - I had freedom, money, hobbies, friends, a name . . . everything I had worked for 30 years to achieve - gone in the "blink of an eye" (or a push of the uterine muscles).

Now I have 3 jobs - mother, wife, employee - with no break in sight. I do not enjoy it, but have learned to "fake it" - so my child and spouse hopefully are not aware. I no longer have any friends, no time for hobbies, no freedom/time for anything enjoyable, and no name (I've become ****'s wife or *****'s mother).

If I hear one more person tell me I'm doing the toughest, but most rewarding, job there is - I have vowed to be sick on their shoes. This was truly the biggest mistake I ever made, and one that I cannot get out of, since my spouse didn't/wouldn't consider adoption.

For those who enjoy children (and the screaming - 6 hours a day, mess, and constraints) more power to you. But for anyone who has not had a child and stumbled upon this forum - please carefully consider you decision and don't let anyone talk you into having a child if you don't want one. If only . . . . (i say that alot these days)