Burt.....I hope you aren't hurtin' too much from those root canals. Yowza!

I will have to think about and look into the medical billing thing to see if it is right for me. It might take some training, and if the cost is on me, well....we know that THAT is a problem right now.

Money.....money......money.....

I chose not to further my education and encouraged my ex-husband to further his, because he really wanted it and the understanding was that he was trying to better himself to make a better life for us both. He even at one time said he did not want me to work after all the schooling was over and he got a decent job. Well, I may have still wanted a part time job or something. I have always worked, but the time when I first lost my job was actually not too bad for a while. I kept up the house and had a hot meal on the table for him every night and he seemed happy with it.

Well, he got the big degrees, several of them in fact, and then he went through his mid-life crisis, hooked up with another woman, and then he threw me out of his life. So I get no benefit out of all the support I gave him through the 8 years of schooling and having to take vacations on my own, nor do I get much of that big fat paycheck he brings home either (I get a small amount of alimony that he never wanted to give me). I am out on my ear with no decent further education, no terrific credentials of any kind, no assets to speak of, the bills in my name that he helped to create, and a car that broke down. Even my computer broke down and I use my boyfriend's at the moment.

It is a tragic thing in a way, but a lot of women go through this and are financially worse off than they have ever been. I am at or below poverty level, and my older years are going to be very poor if I don't have a partner to share expenses with. But again, my conscience is clear. I could have nailed him to the wall in court but I did not because I knew what his big bills were with keeping the house going, and I didn't want him to be struggling. I never did think much about myself when the proceedings went down. I was considerate until the end. My friends think I should have rolled him a lot worse, but I can sleep at night knowing I was not a vindictive witch.

Love certainly is my drug of choice. And being in love is my drug free way of getting high. It gets all the good chemicals and endorphins going inside me like nothing else in this world. Even two years into our relationship my boyfriend had that effect on me. He was a good man and being in love with him was having a little slice of heaven.....

I guess that is why I am willing to take a chance for it again, as beat up as I have gotten from getting my heart broken time and time again. Just one more time would be nice before I leave here.....

But no rush, per Dave.....LOL.

Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator