Aaaaaand my car broke down for good on the way home. I am at a hotel waiting for hubby to get here and take me home. Will have to donate the car and find a new one ASAP while still needing money for my down payment on the house.

But I did not get into an accident, so that is a plus. Also I met some very lovely people here in the library in this small town who offered to help me in any way i needed.

Now in a motel waiting for hubby to arrive at 1am. I expect we will get a few hours of sleep and then drive right back to AZ.

I had a nice talk with my mom about how all the moving and attendant ripples from that has make my life nuts. Like how having no home made me guess where I would fly out from to go to the BellaOnline gathering. I had to guess it would be San Diego, which ended up being an 8 hour drive each way from where I actually am living. And that ended up being too much for my beater car. And so now I need to pay for this motel room, the gas for my hubby to come get me, and the expense of a new car right away, with new registration and plates, etc.

All these stress ripples.

I think of people who have been in their home for 15 years and who don't have to find a new doctor, dentist, pharmacy, bank, hairdresser, library card, DMV and everything every year. Who don't have to change their address on everything official each year. Who don't have stuff in stored in little and big piles all across the country to keep track of.

I know that chances are good this home thing will come through for me, but escrows can fall through. I have no backup plan. I am putting all my eggs in this one basket - this one hope of peace and serenity.

But back to the ripples. I can't wait to stop having the auxiliary stress issues that come with not moving. My mother and I are hoping it really helps with my anxiety issues. I want to look back in a year and feel so amazed at how peaceful my life has become.