Well, on Maslow, let's see.

level 1 - the body's needs. I have air, food, water, a warm place to sleep, clothing. So this is good. This level is set.

level 2 - my home, the RV, is pretty safe. I feel safe on this street and in this town. I'd feel safer with a big dog or Dan around, but i have my weapons, and neighbors close by.

I have physical health but no insurance, so that is a scary place to be. I also have my mental health issues to work with. Parts of that are being addressed and parts are not.

So, with these needs not being addressed, i am sort of stuck on level 2. I can try to achieve things on the higher levels, but will keep being pulled back in by level 2 issues.

level 3 - I have my family (not nearby, but i have them), friends who are not local, my daily online social group, and a long distance marriage. Obviously I am not satisfied on this level at all - it's a huge issue. I cling to my online support group to an overlarge extent as a way to try and resolve this level.

level 4 - Half of this level is fine and the other is not. Professionally, I have respect from my peers, I know I am a unique individual with things to give, and am confident in my skills. Interpersonally I have huge confidence issues. If I had proper healthcare (level 2), and actual nearby friends (level 3), I could move on to working on my self esteem.

level 5 - this is the most interesting level - self actualization. I do find that I try to put creativity, soul growth, learning and fun experiences in my life. I am pulled away from these activities, again, by lack of health care and social needs being filled, and my poor self esteem.

So to 'fix' level 2 - I don't know. I was denied ACHHSS and will try to apply again, I guess. I will see what ideas my case manager has for me. There is a lot of work involved that I hate doing. Maybe it would be easier to apply for this kind of thing in Oklahoma.

To 'fix' level 3 - I have pretty much given up on finding people here. It's too hard. Maybe Oklahoma will be better for me. Or maybe I need to move Serenity to a location that is better for me.

For level four, proper health care would involve therapy and that would focus largely on my self esteem. And if I had local friends or family then that would also help my self esteem.

Level five would be easier to pursue if i had the other levels resolved, obviously. So if i had health care, a social life, and therapy, then i could move on to self actualization activities.


I realize I am luckier than a lot of people around the world. Part of this is by planning - having no children makes my life easier to plan around MY needs. And I have an extremely frugal lifestyle, so affording the basics works out for me. If I lived like most people in first world countries, my income would never support me and I would have many more level 1 and 2 issues. Barring illness, I could physically continue this existence indefinitely. Mentally, not as such.

If anyone has any suggestions for me i would love to hear them.