It is critical for decision making that you make the decision when you are in a spot of calm. People who make decisions while stressed and frazzled tend to make poor judgment calls. Athletes and researchers often talk about being "in the zone" - where they are really connected to what they are doing, have a sense of peace and make fantastic moves and decisions. Firefighters train for years so that in an emergency they are NOT hyper - they are under control, know what to do, and react properly.
Let's just start with 10 minutes. Are you able to get yourself into a place of peace and quiet for just 10 minutes, so that you can sit down and make decisions about what your goals are for the coming months? How do you achieve that calm? A key is being content with yourself for those 10 minutes. Not resigned, not angry, not "Sure I'm stuck being xxxx pounds, doesn't this suck". But more of a "OK, this is my starting point. I accept it. I'm xxxx pounds. Now I need a plan."
Let us know what your obstacles are to achieving this calm starting point, and we'll help out!