Update......the second year anniversary has now come and gone. The healing for me does continue on. Thanks to some dear spiritual friends, my faith and belief system, and constant work on myself, I am doing a lot better. I have more times when I can laugh, when I feel peace, and when I have hope. Yet there are times when I still shed tears and the pain still cuts me like a knife when I remember the good times we shared and even the times when he suffered.
I am realizing that when you lose someone dear to you, the feeling of loss never does completely go away. You just learn to live with it and you do the best you can to keep moving forward, one day at a time.