Okay, I get it now!
I just wanted to say that when my ex husband died last June, I was devastated.
He died very young and unexpectedly.
I still loved him so much, even though I had ended our 23 year marriage 4 years previously.
I always thought he'd still be in my life, as a friend who knew me better than any body, and as the father of our 2 grown children.
Upon his death, I was not WELCOME at his funeral by HIS family, even though I paid for it and made all the arrangements.
It was such an awful, awkward situation.
If it wasn't for all the loving support from my dear friends, I would have ended up in the psyche hospital.
Unbeknownst to me at this time, he had left me all his benefits-the whole nine yards.
My darling children and his family went mental when they learned this, and made me feel worse than I already did.
I was hounded until I gave a substantial amount to both children.
I was so horribly shocked at their attitude toward me.
They absolutely destroyed me emotionally.
I no longer communicate with them and consider myself childless.
I know their father would have been appalled.
Has any one else ever experienced a situation like this?
I'm sorry, bringmeredwine. I just saw your post now. How horrible this must be for you. I suppose those people felt the way they did because you were divorced from him. But that is no excuse for their rotten behavior. A funeral is the place where all who loved the deceased should be welcomes. A divorce doesn't always mean the end of love. Your paying and arranging for the funeral is proof.
As for the children, they might have felt that their father simply forgot to update his will and would not have given his ex an inheritance. That might have been the case since he had children and it doesn't seem reasonable that he would have left them out of his will. You did the right thing by sharing the inheritance.
Your children should be ashamed however because divorced or not from their father, you are their mother. They should be glad you were taken care of.
It pains me to see how money frequently changes family relationships. I've seen it in my own family. Sad.