Maria.....I am sorry for the loss of your mother.
My mother is still alive and I don't know how I will ever get through losing her when the time comes. We are very close. God only knows....
We all do grieve in our own way and in our own time. I have been told by a few people that I need to move on and let my boyfriend go. These people may mean well, but truly they are ignorant. It is MY grief, and MY processing of that grief. It is something I own, and I need to deal with it in ways that help me to heal. I have a right to my grief and whatever time it takes me to get through the pain of losing a man I dearly loved. Nobody has a right to tell me how to deal with any of this.
I don't think we ever do really "move on" from losing someone we deeply love. We only find ways to "go on". That is truly all any of us can do. I have lost my father, grandparents, an aunt, and an uncle. For some of these losses I was very sad at the time, but I got through it and I don't hurt anymore. This loss of my boyfriend has been the most devastating to me because he knew me in very personal ways and I will always miss him for the wonderful man he was, no matter who else may come into my future. I know this loss will be felt for the rest of my life, even if I find happiness with another man. Each human being is special, and my boyfriend made an impact on me that will be felt forever.
Maria.....I hope some day you can feel some peace in regards to your loss. I know that life goes on for the spirit after the physical body perishes. Our loved ones still maintain a connection with us, and I am sure your mother is close to you even if you don't realize it. I believe she is very happy and surrounded by light and love. She certainly feels all the love you have for her.
Thank you for sharing.
