freemenow,
I'm so sorry to hear of your medical issues. I also deal with many medical issues and it can be very overwhelming. I know it hurt when your daughter is mean, but again, please try to remember that it is a normal stage for teens. My teens were also as nice as could be to others. But, when their emotions were raging, they were very vocal with me. A good friend of mine once told me that my teens did that with me because they felt safe to do so. I know that might not make sense, but if they felt safe to release their emotions around me, then I respected that. I didn't tolerate disrespect - don't get me wrong. But, I did understand. And being a teen in this day and age is much harder than it was when I was a kid.

Don't be so hard on yourself! Many parents have slipped up and called their kids names like that. I'm not saying it's appropriate, but I am saying you are only human. Don't be so hard on yourself.

I also went through a stage with my son where he was very disrespectful and many of his behaviors, actions, and words reminded me of his abusive father. This made it very hard for me to be patient with him. My counselor reminded me that this is because he reminded me of his dad and when he was acting out, it brought up painful memories and feelings. Perhaps this may be what you are experiencing with your daughter. Does how she speaks to you remind you of your mother?

I'm always here for you.

Kelli Deister

www.booksbykelli.webs.com/