Nothing that you are feeling is abnormal for the stuff you have been through. I'm not much for repeating myself, but it truly does take time. You're doing okay; just keep talking to us (and other safe people if it works for you). The progress is slow, but you will be able to look back and see it one of these days; a little bit at a time. Anything that's worth learning takes time. (some famous person must have said that somewhere along the line!!)