freemenow,
I'm so sorry to hear of your Uncle's passing, but am so thankful that you were able to be with him in his last hours before he passed. I believe that the fact that he took the pillow from your house and the hat you gave him, with him, shows that it was his expression of his love for you.

Regarding how you may tend to scold one of your children more than the other, please be gentle with yourself. The key is that you are aware of it; therefore, you can change it. Perhaps try taking some time out each week for individual activities with your children. For example, take one child out for dinner one night and the other child the next night. This will help them to see your love for them equally.