logo
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 91
Amoeba
Offline
Amoeba
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 91
Eleise,

This IS an interesting topic. There really aren't any books on the topic? It's interesting to me too that people are probably faster to view it as "cheating" when it's a guy/girl thing -- but I can see where it could simply be a pure friendship between women that evolves into something where it is "cheating" the marriage.

Is someone has a relationship with a friend, sister, co-worker where they are constantly discussing intimate details (and complaints) of their relationship and life INSTEAD of investing in the marriage relationship than that could be deemed emotionally cheating.

We do all have unmet needs from our spouse and many other wonderful relationships and that's great. But I think there is a point where it is unhealthy, where too much energy is going into the other relationship and not enough into the marriage, where it "cheats" the spouse's ability to make the marriage work. It's definitely a gray area and one where people probably fool themselves int thinking there is nothing wrong with what they are doing.

Sponsored Post Advertisement
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 14,392
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 14,392
It could be any interest really. my hubby prefers his software development over any person, including me. Some people are football widows. Golf widows. And so on.

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 982
Parakeet
Offline
Parakeet
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 982
I agree with you Jilly. Emotional cheating could be the result of any thing or person that takes a person's love and attention away from their spouse.

Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 14,392
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 14,392
I still like the idea of a book on this topic! smile

Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,691
L
BellaOnline Editor
Koala
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Koala
L
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,691
Originally Posted By: James Hall
i think emotional cheating is making an emotional attachment to others while you are in a relationship. even without a physical affection to the other person, having emotionally attached to someone else is can be called cheating.


I think James sums it up well. Emotional cheating implies that you are having an intimate relationship with someone who is returning the emotions. I really don't think it is "cheating" if your spouse has a job or hobby that takes away from time with you, even if it borders on addiction. Addiction is a problem that robs the neglected spouse of emotional presence, yes, but it is not the same thing as an emotional affair.

I wrote an article about The Office Spouse which is a big phenomenon today.

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,708
BellaOnline Editor
Zebra
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Zebra
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,708
Originally Posted By: James Hall
i think emotional cheating is making an emotional attachment to others while you are in a relationship. even without a physical affection to the other person, having emotionally attached to someone else is can be called cheating.


Being someone who was emotionally cheated on, I agree with this definition. My husband at the time was "in love" with this other woman our entire marriage. He told me this when he told me he was divorcing me. He and this woman would call each other on their birthdays, call each other at work, etc etc. He would bring our children over to her house with the excuse that they were getting the kids together to play, but he would stay at her house & chat with her. This occurred throughout our marriage. She even called our home a few times in the middle of the night with some problem and would ask to speak to my husband.

Meanwhile, my birthdays were forgotten and he treated me like poop calling me every name in the book.

Eventually, it got to the point where he would go to her home after work instead of coming home to me.

He claims there was nothing physical between them. I have no proof there was - before we divorced, anyway.

If that's not emotional cheating, I don't what is. I do consider that to be cheating, physical or not.

Joined: May 2009
Posts: 796
Gecko
Offline
Gecko
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 796

That sounds horrible and I am so sorry to hear about that. It's horrible to be with someone especially if you are in love with them and to know they are emotionally bonded to another.

Here's a link to test if there is an emotional affair going on? Found it to be interesting!



Proud Pagan
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,691
L
BellaOnline Editor
Koala
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Koala
L
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,691
Just curious, Jeanne, did you have any suspicions about his emotional affair during your marriage?

Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 33
Newbie
Offline
Newbie
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 33
Well,when my ex left me he told me that they were not sleeping together (which I don't really believe) but anyway I told him that having an emotional affair was worse anyway. That meant that things that we were supposed to be sharing with each other in our marriage we weren't because he was sharing them with someone else. Now, our marriage wasn't fantastic. Which I believe leads to emotional affairs because if your marriage isn't working then they or you even will go looking for it somewhere else. And with Facebook that allows you access to men that you might not be privy to in your real life. Lorena www.LorenaBBooks.com

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,708
BellaOnline Editor
Zebra
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Zebra
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,708
Originally Posted By: Lori Chidori - Marriage
Just curious, Jeanne, did you have any suspicions about his emotional affair during your marriage?


I didn't suspect any kind of cheating, but our marriage was really never that good. I did just about everything to fix our marriage that I could think of. I even asked my husband if there was something I was doing/not doing that I should change. He responded with "Nope. Everything is fine."

I didn't have a clue there was another woman until about a month before her told me he wanted a divorce. At that point, he was staying out all night a couple of nights a week. Obviously, as soon as he did that I realized something was going on.

Just so you all know - my life is WAAAAAAY better now. don't feel sorry for me at all. I'm remarried to a wonderful man and am very happy :-)

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4

Link Copied to Clipboard
Brand New Posts
Autumn Equinox
by Mona - Astronomy - 09/19/21 06:35 PM
Lammas to the September Equinox – Quiz *new*
by Mona - Astronomy - 09/19/21 05:56 PM
2021: On this day . . .
by Mona - Astronomy - 09/19/21 05:51 PM
Inspiration Quote
by Angie - 09/19/21 12:21 PM
Death of an Old Tree
by Angie - 09/18/21 11:32 AM
Psalm for the day
by Angie - 09/18/21 09:50 AM
When the burdens get heavy
by Angie - 09/15/21 03:17 PM
Sewing Projects for Fall
by Cheryl - Sewing Editor - 09/15/21 03:02 PM
QuickBooks Point of Sale (POS's) Best Customer Pho
by Penelope Jerez - 09/14/21 06:21 PM
Astro Women - Birthdays
by Angie - 09/14/21 08:25 AM
Sponsor
Safety
We take forum safety very seriously here at BellaOnline. Please be sure to read through our Forum Guidelines. Let us know if you have any questions or comments!
Privacy
This forum uses cookies to ensure smooth navigation from page to page of a thread. If you choose to register and provide your email, that email is solely used to get your password to you and updates on any topics you choose to watch. Nothing else. Ask with any questions!


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2021 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.


Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5