I feel every word you write, sandrake, I have been there, I had an unwanted pregnancy, was awfully depressed (not necessarily in the clinical sense), devastated, with a kind of desperation and sadness and horror and fear I cannot even begin to describe, and when I talked to people, they would come up with congrats and "deadlines" for happiness that I never managed to meet: "when you see the first ultrasound", "when it starts moving", and, my favorite (NO!!!!!!!): "when you see its little face". I remember crying on the phone with friends back home and everybody telling me it was the best thing that could have happened to me. People who knew my stand about children, but suddenly, found the opportunity (getting pregnant accidentally) to help me see the light. I have never felt so alone in my entire alive.
Why is it hard to believe that there are normal, well-balanced, functional human beings who don't want to have children? If people really could believe that, they wouldn't come up with all those magical transformation stories. Why, if you don't want a child at all, would you be happy to get one? As far as I am concerned, going through labor without wanting a child is not exactly a mood-maker.