a great big thank you to all who have shared their stories, suggestions and comments so far. the website ImNotSorry.net was just what i needed. i spent over an hour reading stories, many of which i could relate to. i also read every single posting in the 'i hate being a mom' forum - wow. what powerful comments by amazing, courageous and inspiring women. you don't know what a blessing this has been. i've never done anything like this - i'm a first time blogger and am so grateful that this place exists. and that you women are out there, willing to listen to others and share your feelings and thoughts with those looking for help. i woke up crying today, totally [censored] off at the world. i don't pray very often as i don't adhere to any particular religion and i never ask for things as i don't feel like it's right. i already have so much... but the past few days i've prayed alot, asking god to show me the way. well, it finally happened... somehow i was led here, i poured my heart out and my cries for help were heard. i now know what to do. from the bottom of my heart, thank you... and i'm sure i owe god an apology because i said some pretty nasty things. the past few weeks i couldn't sleep because i've been so worried and worked up. now i can't sleep because i feel so relieved that i'm on the verge of being excited! i think i want to celebrate, but it's 2 a.m and i have to go to work tomorrow. once i'm through all this and myself again, i hope i can help other women (or men)as much as i've been helped.